Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Welcome to my Jokes Blog
This is a Blog where you can see some of the short cool jokes.
This Blog is for Pinoy,. kasi karamihan ng jokes d2 is tagalog.
Most of this Jokes ay galing sa txt messages or what we call "txt jokes".
Almost all of the jokes that you will see here ay galing
mismo sa cell phone ko. Mga txt jokes na sinend sakin.
Kelan ko lng naisip ung idea na to. Kahit papano ay mabigyan natin ng buhay ang mga txt jokes. hehehe.. (photo interpretation) :)
You can also download lahat ng jokes na nand2, with caption na un.
You can see the download link below the Jokes.
Meron ka bang mulupet na jokes jan?
What are you waiting for?? Send mo na sakin, pra ipost ko d2 at mabigyan ko ng buhay.
send me your jokes
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My standards:
-Much better kung tagalog,. Pero pwede rin ung english basta hndi masyado mahaba.
-NO GREEN jokes allowed. (it means: Bawal ung may pagka bastos)
-Original and unique jokes are much better. And It will have a chance na mapasali sa Top 10 jokes d2. (which will be posted every week)
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Joke # 12 - Derma
Problema mo ba ang tagyawat mo?
Ano pang inaantay mo, magpatingin kna sa Derma.
Para malaman mo na may pag-asa pa pla.
Derma: Miss, may good news
ako syo! Di ka na tutubuan
ng tagyawat!
Miss: Totoo doc??
Derma: Yes, dahil wala ng
SPACE! =)
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(download Joke #12 photo with caption)
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Ano pang inaantay mo, magpatingin kna sa Derma.
Para malaman mo na may pag-asa pa pla.
Derma: Miss, may good news
ako syo! Di ka na tutubuan
ng tagyawat!
Miss: Totoo doc??
Derma: Yes, dahil wala ng
SPACE! =)
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(download Joke #12 photo with caption)
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Joke # 11 - Hell
Madalas ka bang nagkakasakit?
Kulang ka sa resistansya at lakas.
Kaya naman kelangan mo ng Pampainit ng katawan.
in hell...
eks hel..
in hel.. eks hel..
in hel.. eks hel..
IKSIRSAYS ba!
Para sumegla dong!!
Hehehe..!! =)
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(download Joke # 11 photo with caption)
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Kulang ka sa resistansya at lakas.
Kaya naman kelangan mo ng Pampainit ng katawan.
in hell...
eks hel..
in hel.. eks hel..
in hel.. eks hel..
IKSIRSAYS ba!
Para sumegla dong!!
Hehehe..!! =)
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(download Joke # 11 photo with caption)
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Joke # 10 - Unique
Bilog ang mundo.
Sa mundong ito, may dalawang klase ng tao
Una, pangit.
Ikalawa, sobrang pangit.
Kaya ngyun,
naiintindihan ko na ung
sinasabi nilang...
meron daw akong sariling
mundo.
=)
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(download Joke #10 photo with caption)
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Sa mundong ito, may dalawang klase ng tao
Una, pangit.
Ikalawa, sobrang pangit.
Kaya ngyun,
naiintindihan ko na ung
sinasabi nilang...
meron daw akong sariling
mundo.
=)
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(download Joke #10 photo with caption)
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Joke # 9 - Sitaw
Ano favorite subject mo?
Ako MATH... Bakit?
Ksi sobrang useful............. sana :D
TINDERA: Ilang tali ng sitaw?
JOSE: 3x-5 where x=6.
TINDERA: So 13, bale mura lng 5sin90 ang isa.
JOSE: Umm, paki-convert naman po using arc tangent.
TINDERA: Di ko carry, tangent na lng. 5tan45, kung gusto mo, mag apply ka na lng ng reduction
formula.
JOSE: Ok na po, eto bayad, (xA2-4x+3)/sin3x
where x=7, keep the change!
Kung ganito ka-useful ang MATH sa buhay natin...
LET’S GET IT ON!!!
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(download Joke #9 photo with caption)
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Ako MATH... Bakit?
Ksi sobrang useful............. sana :D
TINDERA: Ilang tali ng sitaw?
JOSE: 3x-5 where x=6.
TINDERA: So 13, bale mura lng 5sin90 ang isa.
JOSE: Umm, paki-convert naman po using arc tangent.
TINDERA: Di ko carry, tangent na lng. 5tan45, kung gusto mo, mag apply ka na lng ng reduction
formula.
JOSE: Ok na po, eto bayad, (xA2-4x+3)/sin3x
where x=7, keep the change!
Kung ganito ka-useful ang MATH sa buhay natin...
LET’S GET IT ON!!!
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(download Joke #9 photo with caption)
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Joke # 8 - Disabled
Sa Panahon ng Crisis. Dapat maging Wais.
Para makamit natin ang ating ninanais.
When you lips are silent,
and your eyes are closed,
and your ears are deaf,
It only means 1 thing...
May discount ka sa jeep!
disable ka friend!!
Yabang may discount sya!
Hahaha!
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(download Joke #8 photo with caption)
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Para makamit natin ang ating ninanais.
When you lips are silent,
and your eyes are closed,
and your ears are deaf,
It only means 1 thing...
May discount ka sa jeep!
disable ka friend!!
Yabang may discount sya!
Hahaha!
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(download Joke #8 photo with caption)
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Monday, July 21, 2008
Joke # 7 - Eyebol
Ang sarap siguro ng makakilala ng isang super hero.
Someone like superman or spiderman.
Pero, What if mabigyan ka ng pagkakataon na makasama ang kapatid
ng isang superhero? Papayag kba? Lalo na kung kapatid pla yun
ni "HULK"
Pedro: may ka-eyebol ako mamaya... anu kaya itsura nya?
ksi sabi nya kamukha daw sya ng celebrity... “SH” ang simula ng name.
Juan: Jackpot ka Pedro!
Baka SHeri or SHaina!
(matapos ang eyebol, umuwi si Pedro)
Juan: kamusta eyebol mo?
Bakit ka malungkot?
Pedro: si “SHrek” pla yun!..
ang Halimaw!.. Pambihira
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(download Joke #7 photo with caption)
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Someone like superman or spiderman.
Pero, What if mabigyan ka ng pagkakataon na makasama ang kapatid
ng isang superhero? Papayag kba? Lalo na kung kapatid pla yun
ni "HULK"
Pedro: may ka-eyebol ako mamaya... anu kaya itsura nya?
ksi sabi nya kamukha daw sya ng celebrity... “SH” ang simula ng name.
Juan: Jackpot ka Pedro!
Baka SHeri or SHaina!
(matapos ang eyebol, umuwi si Pedro)
Juan: kamusta eyebol mo?
Bakit ka malungkot?
Pedro: si “SHrek” pla yun!..
ang Halimaw!.. Pambihira
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(download Joke #7 photo with caption)
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Joke # 6 - Apple
what’s worse than finding a worm in the apple you are eating?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
pAg nkita mong kalahati nlng ung worm..
mmm.. yummy... :D
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(download Joke #6 photo with caption)
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Joke # 4 - Unlitxt
Hindi kba nagtataka kung bakit ang daming relasyon ang nasisira?
Isa sa unang dahilan ay ang usapang walang patutunguhan.
Boy: Musta??... =)
Girl: K lng... Kaw? =)
Boy: K lng din.. hehehe. =)
Girl: Hehe.. =)
Boy: Hehe.. cge bye na.. =)
Girl: Cge, bye din..
take care... =)
Boy: Take care din..
bye.. =)
Girl: hehe.. =)
Boy: hehe.. =)
Sa Globe Unlitxt..
Walang kwenta ang usapan!!! =)
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(download joke #4 photo with caption)
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Isa sa unang dahilan ay ang usapang walang patutunguhan.
Boy: Musta??... =)
Girl: K lng... Kaw? =)
Boy: K lng din.. hehehe. =)
Girl: Hehe.. =)
Boy: Hehe.. cge bye na.. =)
Girl: Cge, bye din..
take care... =)
Boy: Take care din..
bye.. =)
Girl: hehe.. =)
Boy: hehe.. =)
Sa Globe Unlitxt..
Walang kwenta ang usapan!!! =)
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(download joke #4 photo with caption)
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Joke # 3 - Wolverine's Death
Si wolverine ay malakas.
Si wolverine ay matapang.
Pero pano nga ba sya namatay?
(sabi nila, kaya daw namatay si wolverine ksi daw nangulangot sya)
well, tama yun. Dahil nga dun kaya sya namatay.
Pero diba may dahilan din nman kung bakit sya nangulangot?
So bakit nga ba sya nangulangot?
ganito ksi ang nangyari:
Isang araw nakikipaglaban sya kay Sabertooth.
Subalit sa hndi inaaasahang pagkakataon,..
May langaw na biglang pumasok sa kanyang ilong!
Kaya nman bigla nyang kinalikot at kinulangot ang
kanyang ilong...
Laking gulat nya ng mapansin na hndi pla nya naisara
ang kanyang patalim.
ayun.....
it hurts... he dies
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(download Joke #3 photo with caption)
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Si wolverine ay matapang.
Pero pano nga ba sya namatay?
(sabi nila, kaya daw namatay si wolverine ksi daw nangulangot sya)
well, tama yun. Dahil nga dun kaya sya namatay.
Pero diba may dahilan din nman kung bakit sya nangulangot?
So bakit nga ba sya nangulangot?
ganito ksi ang nangyari:
Isang araw nakikipaglaban sya kay Sabertooth.
Subalit sa hndi inaaasahang pagkakataon,..
May langaw na biglang pumasok sa kanyang ilong!
Kaya nman bigla nyang kinalikot at kinulangot ang
kanyang ilong...
Laking gulat nya ng mapansin na hndi pla nya naisara
ang kanyang patalim.
ayun.....
it hurts... he dies
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(download Joke #3 photo with caption)
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Joke # 2 - Soldier
Naghahanap kba ng trabaho?
Masipag ka, matiyaga ka, lagi kang nasa oras at responsable ka.
Kaso nga lng,.. parang dinaanan ng gera ang ngipin mo.
Di ka pwede maging commercial model ng close up..
Ifugao: Mg aaply po akong sundalo, sir!
Officer: Hindi pwede! Ang dami mong sirang ngipin!!,
Bungi bungi ka!!
Ifugao: Bakit, sir? ang gyera ba ngyun, lips to lips na??!!
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(download Joke #2 photo with caption)
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Masipag ka, matiyaga ka, lagi kang nasa oras at responsable ka.
Kaso nga lng,.. parang dinaanan ng gera ang ngipin mo.
Di ka pwede maging commercial model ng close up..
Ifugao: Mg aaply po akong sundalo, sir!
Officer: Hindi pwede! Ang dami mong sirang ngipin!!,
Bungi bungi ka!!
Ifugao: Bakit, sir? ang gyera ba ngyun, lips to lips na??!!
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(download Joke #2 photo with caption)
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Joke # 1 - Bus
Gaano ka-gentleman?
Some people say, being a gentleman means being kind.
Being a gentleman means being humble.
Being a gentleman means being respectful, specially sa girls.
But for some, being a gentleman? Simple lng... itulog mo lng..
yun na yun :D
Some people say, being a gentleman means being kind.
Being a gentleman means being humble.
Being a gentleman means being respectful, specially sa girls.
But for some, being a gentleman? Simple lng... itulog mo lng..
yun na yun :D
Boy: I hate it when I see a girl standing in the bus when I am comfortably seated..
Girl: So what do you do?
Boy: I just sleep..
It hurts my feelings eh...
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(download Joke #1 photo with caption)
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Girl: So what do you do?
Boy: I just sleep..
It hurts my feelings eh...
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(download Joke #1 photo with caption)
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